Hudson Street Press, January 2015
From the author of the beloved 30 Lessons for Living
Karl Pillemer’s 30 Lessons for Living first became a hit and then became a classic. Readers loved the sage advice and great stories from extraordinary older Americans who shared what they wish they had known when they were starting out. Now, Pillemer returns with lessons on one of the most talked- about parts of that book -- love, relationships, and marriage.
Based on the most detailed survey of long married people ever conducted, 30 Lessons for Loving shows the way to lifelong, fulfilling relationships. The author, an internationally renowned gerontologist at Cornell University, offers sage advice from the oldest and wisest Americans on everything from finding a partner, to deciding to commit, to growing old together. Along the way, the book answers questions like these: How do you know if the person you love is the right one? What are the secrets for improving communication and reducing conflict? What gets you through the major stresses of marriage, such as child-rearing, work, money issues, and in laws? From interviews with 700 elders, 30 Lessons for Loving offers unique wisdom that will enrich anyone’s relationship life, from people searching for the right partner to those working to keep the spark alive after decades together.
Filled with great stories, wise observations, and useful advice, 30 Lessons for Loving is destined to become another classic.
Hardcover | ISBN: 9781594631542 | Publication Date: January 2015
"I loved 30 Lessons for Loving. It's a treasure trove of great advice from some of the wisest people in the world. They've experienced just about everything in their relationships over the
years, and their advice to us is both enlightening and enriching."
-- Hal Urban, Author of Life's Greatest Lessons and Positive Words, Powerful Results
"This rich and revelatory book offers us a rare gift: vivid narratives born of struggle and resilience, hard work and humor, and forged out of mutual respect, loyalty, and love."
-- Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, EdD, author of The Third Chapter: Passion, Risk, and Adventure in the 25 Years After 50
"30 Lessons for Loving is a real contribution for helping us make important decisions about relationships, and nurture love once we have someone we treasure."
-- Pepper Schwartz, PhD., author of the Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples
"Couples of all ages will enjoy reading this book together and
will profit from using this book as a guide as they develop as
partners throughout the lifespan."
-- Kathleen McCartney, PhD, President of Smith College
"Karl Pillemer presents the wisdom of the ultimate experts in
relationships, those who have made love and marriage work over the
long run by learning from their mistakes and striking a viable
balance between their hearts and minds."
-- Steven Stosny, Ph.D., author of Living & Loving after Betrayal and How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking about It
"There is one thing in life that cannot be rushed - experience!
So the wise listen to those who have gone before them, eager to
learn what they can from the experience of others. The experience
of others shows us the path of joy, and warns us away from the
paths of anguish and pain. I thoroughly enjoyed 30 Lessons for
Loving, it contains ten thousand years of experience."
-- Matthew Kelly, author of The Dream Manager and Then Rhythm of Life
"A must-read for anyone contemplating marriage. The knowledge
and wisdom gathered from this huge group of elders is both modern
and timeless. It is inspiring, insightful, witty, and often --
surprising. This is everything about living -- and loving -- in a
long relationship I wish my grandmother had told me. I highly
recommend it for engaged couples and newlyweds."
-- Amy Dickinson, "Ask Amy" syndicated advice columnist